In the second instalment of Take Control Of What You Can Series, I’m talking about regaining control of an environment to make you feel happier, healthier and safer.
… and am free.
Imagine this: someone close to you is going through a crisis and you don’t want to say the wrong things to them, however you have your own worries that you need to release through conversation. Who is the best person for you to talk to?
Lest We Forget
It’s the mundane everyday tasks that can give us the most perspective.
To clear your path.
Learning to become fluent with words that accurately describe the pain and symptoms you are feeling is one of the most helpful things you can do to create a positive working relationship and understanding between yourself and your medical professionals.
What remains? Nature.
We have all been in that place where something awful happens to someone and we are petrified of saying the wrong thing or not sure how to help. This is where the book ‘There Is No Good Card For This: What to Say and Do When Life is Scary, Awful and Unfair to People You Love’ by Emily McDowell and Kelsey Crowe comes in to save us!
I hope you have people and places where you don’t have to be strong too.
There is something to be said for timing and usually we only see that something happens at the perfect time if it involves an obvious change or lesson, but even the things that we seek comfort from can come to us at the right time.
It may just help.
As soon as things get tough, you know you are going to need a few people to lean on. Who is on your team?
One thing I am constantly being asked is ‘what do I do all day if I am not working?’. Here is a little insight into my daily life and health management.
So you might not be much of a talker or know much about the medical world, but you want to help someone close to you? Here are a few practical ways to help someone with a chronic condition!
Maybe it’s not about having a beautiful day
We are all aware of the mental health campaigns urging us to check in with each other, to start the conversation about someone’s mental health… but do you know how to support and guide them to resources if they say “No, I’m not ok”?. What are the next steps to take? Do you feel confident to have that discussion? Read more about my experience completing the Mental Health First Aid course.
When chronic conditions start to infiltrate every part of your life, you can feel like you are losing control or have others make all the choices for you. This series is about regaining a bit of control in areas that are manageable and make a huge difference – starting with the online world! Read about how I changed my online experience from taking me for a ride to taking the wheel!
Most of the time we don’t even realise that we are holding our breath when we are in pain. So when we are in the moment of pain and waiting for it to pass or ease, here are some neat little breathing meditation practices to try to relax our bodies.
Following on from my meditation journey post, I thought I would share some of my favorite meditation apps, teachers and people!
My journey with meditation had a lot of false starts and it was definitely a skill that once I started with the right intentions and reasons, I haven’t stopped and it has become the most valuable practice in my life. Read more about my meditation journey here:
I started the year with ideas and dreams for a project – but the year had other plans for me and my project.
May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness.
It’s pretty hard to look back on a disappointing year, when nothing went your way and felt like a struggle to get through. From my experience from many tough years, here are a few things to keep in mind when reviewing the year.
Depends on our dispositions
2020 has been a strange year and a lot of us have struggled with the notion that our perception of time has changed. This is a very similar experience to when you have a chronic medical condition. Read more here!
Buying presents for people with chronic conditions can sometimes be a little tricky. Here are some suggestions that are fail-safe to bring your loved ones some joy and comfort this festive season!
Matt Haig is a brilliant writer and human being who is constantly investigating and questioning the effect of modern life on our mental health. He is a huge advocate for mental health wellness, and has shared his experiences through his multiple fiction works and his non-fiction books.
When I am among the trees
This is the power of gathering:
Anyone with a chronic condition can tell you that going to celebrations or large events can be quite challenging and exhausting. With some careful planning and sensible self care, we can make the event much more enjoyable and last longer than Cinderella before the carriage turns into a pumpkin!
Look on each day that comes as a challenge, as a test of courage.
So often we can fall into the trap of assuming that someone is naturally gifted with skills, habits and traits. But what if they weren’t born like that and worked hard to be that person?
I have learnt that time and expectations are two very dangerous things to try to predict and manage. Now we are all learning that with COVID-19 too.
When life gets too much we can retreat into familiar places and stories that give us comfort, and which feel better than the place that we are currently living in. Escaping into a book is the perfect balm for a tired soul in need of rest from yourself, your life and the world.
“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.” ― James Baldwin
I’ve had a lot of medical appointments over the years and I have learnt a few tips from my experiences and from the medical practitioners and their staff.
You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair. – Chinese Proverb
Being in pain or managing a chronic condition while also having an external crisis play out in front of you, can really add to the stress and therefore the symptoms that you manage. From my own experiences, here are my suggestions for managing both a chronic condition and an external crisis.
We never know when something could go wrong or we need additional help, and the best way to manage this is to be prepared and have a plan. Here are my tips to cover all bases!
Nurturing ourselves with familiar and enriching activities that restore our energy is what keeps us afloat when everything around us is uncertain, rough and stormy.
“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us…
Knowing who and when to share your story with takes skill and awareness, and can be incredibly supportive and rewarding.
Once we have taken care of the immediate issues, diving into medical investigations can make it hard to work out if you are making progress.
Some days you just need something to do that is quiet and not too taxing on your energy levels.
The pharmacist is probably going to be a frequent person you’ll see when managing a medical condition, so it is reassuring to get to know them and their services.
How do we navigate it?
How do we understand it?
How do we explain it?
How do we accept it?
With a little experimenting, rituals and preparation, you can master quality rest time.
We all just want to be seen and heard for how we really are.