2020 has been a strange year and a lot of us have struggled with the notion that our perception of time has changed.
The year is progressing along but there have been a limited amount of significant occasions to mark the time; there are no summer festivals, or key events in autumn or spring, and birthdays have been low-key. The things that we are used to looking back on that have happened over the past year have diminished or become non-existent.
Something changed about the way I viewed and felt time when I first became seriously unwell.
Every single day felt so long, every hour drifted past, drowsy and frustrated. I was taking every minute one at a time to get through the pain and symptoms. Waking up in the morning dreading how long a whole day ahead felt and so many hours to get through, and then feeling relieved when the day was done and sleep would take over the hard work of passing the time.
Having such a sharp, narrow focus on the minute to minute events meant I would lose weeks and months without knowing what happened to them and usually nothing to show for it.
Without a work routine, I don’t have weekends. Each day, week and month just blends together. Time feels like it flies by when every day is the same. The years speed by.
I call these ‘ghost years’. They are placeholder years.
They are there, marking the years, they just won’t be fully opaque and colourful.
Whether this is your first ghost year or you have experienced many before, we know it’s just something to push on through and hope the next year is a bit better. It’s just the way it is sometimes.
Take heart, Readers. I’ll keep the light on.